1.7.05
ballet under the stars! romantic! :) wonder what's come over me..the sudden rekindled interest in such artsy stuff. maybe air supply was the trigger...and an impactful one...im still hooked onto their cd of best hits. the melodies kept playing in my head during the exams too...and i wished i could sing out loud! haha. and break everybody's trains of thought during the gp paper. heh! so bad.
sis is buying phone today. wth. yes, it's true that her phone's the oldest amongst all of ours...but she doesnt deserve such a good and costly model! haha..her phone's underutilised...no, severely underutilised. she must have felt quite sad seeing mum and i object vehemently this morning to the decision to get her phone changed. and we both exclaimed, "i should be the one having it!" haha..but oh wells. k la...she should get a phone...haha..she was quite green with envy when i got mine last week. so yeah. cannot make her feel shortchanged. man im sucha good sister. haha.
exco elections this coming wed. woohoo! the long-awaited day. but im quite unwilling to let go also..haha..can i just stick with being in the exco but not do anything? haha. ah...time for the younger ones to take over la. my drive's dwindling. and i cant afford to screw up my academics for bowling's sake. sigh...
li yong messaged me ystday. strange. he started gossiping abt the extreme-guy-lover girl and her scandals. haha. boy am i appalled! how many poor fellas does she want to victimise...sigh... then he asked me about courtship and how to ask girls out. haha...i didnt really know how to answer his questions... then he just didnt reply me already. strange isnt it. oh well..but one thing im definitely glad to find out, that he's straight. :) good good.
the other thing was when i asked him if he'd be continuing with bowling, he told me that he felt very unwelcome and was filled with bad memories...that's why he wanted to quit. im wondering if i could have done something to change something. because i was aware of how the others regarded him...but yet i didnt do anything - say to change their opinion of him? - other than being his friend. he'd stormed off angrily before during trainings, i'd chased after him, he'd refused to take my calls of concern...i did all i could to try to appease him. was there anything more i could have done? i really dont know...inspite of everything, ive still failed to keep him.
my horoscope today says that i'll meet my guardian angel who's been looking out for me for some time now... intriguing! i wanna know who. and what he/she's done for me. :)
den* stepped on your garbage at
30.6.05
common tests are finally over and done with. gruelling as usual. there's a lingering pain somewhere at the back of my head...it doesnt seem to go away...it must be all the brain cells screaming for attention. they've been overused over the past four days. there was supposed to be chi oral today, after the last paper, which is a total spoiler and dampener! imagine seeing everyone scoot off to town while we rack our brains further, only that this time it's making use of the english-chinese translating device. but anyway, it was SUPPOSED to be right. cos we heard that laoshi was on mc, and so we self-proclaimed a day off, no oral, and it's runaway time! :) yays! and even though laoshi msged me to ask all of us to go for oral, it was too late. we were already strutting on orchard road's gravel. so eventually, i conveniently feigned ignorance and shut my phone. :) whee!
somehow it doesnt seem as enjoyable as i'd like it to be. post-common tests. the relief and bliss that's supposed to follow seems to be replaced with a subtle emptiness. i dont know what to do.
can you not go to taiwan? :( stupid question.
den* stepped on your garbage at
26.6.05
i dont know but sometimes i just sense this growing distance between the both of us. maybe im not getting the kind of attention you used to give me... ive tried to be magnanimous but there's always a cap to how much i can try. ive tried to give you more room and freedom, but as time progresses, my patience just slips. the necessity just grows...the necessity of having you around.
cts commence tmr. here goes nothing.
den* stepped on your garbage at